First-time FLARPers
by hellasex
Summary: Dumb OCs do dumb things and "nearly" get themselves killed. (Please note: This is merely a sampler that literally took a combined time of less than 2 hours to write and is not a good representation of my writing ability. There is more to come that WILL be better)


BF: are you sure about these guys. i Dont like to play with lowblooDs, its embarrassing.

SN: yes krocka!

SN: trust me, they're fine!

SN: ur just stubborn.

BF: UGH.

BF: fine.

BF: ill play with em.

SN: thank u :)

BF: whatever. just hurry up anD get ready.

SN: u got it!

SN: XOXO

Vashti later arrived at the entrance to North Alternia's designated FLARPing fields, which was really just the vast, barren Alternian Wasteland, highly customizable thanks to the Clouders of each team bringing eggs to hatch their own pre-programmed Gaming Flapstractions.

Krocka, leader and Clouder of Team Splinter, arrived soon after his moirail Vashti, greeting her with a swift Allegiance Hug, and revealing the egg. It would hatch into a Flapstraction soon.

"How'd you meet these guys?" Krocka asked his friend.

"Oh, you know, the usual," Vashti replied. "Just saw them at the Soiltoiler's Market."

"I can't believe you still go to that wretched place," the tusked troll sighed, rolling his eyes.

"What? They have good food! And some of the trolls there are kinda cute..." Vashti giggled.

While the two trolls debated over the absurdity and necessity of the Soiltoiler's Market, a group of four other trolls soon approached; a purple-blood, cerulean-blood, teal-blood, and rust-blood. Strangely, the cerulean-blooded troll, Kildan, appeared to be leading the group, rather than the purple-blood, Tolken.

"Oh my gog, is that Krocka?" the teal-blooded troll fumed. She was Krocka's kismesis, Piphin. She hated his guts.

Krocka glanced to the side as he heard the rainbow entourage approaching, his smile fading as he locked eyes with Piphin. "Sendri," he snarled, his lips curling into a toothy snarl.

The long haired troll ran up to her kismesis, and as they wrapped their arms around each other, they engaged in a brutal hatesnog. Their sharp fangs pierced each other's tongue and lips releasing Krocka's indigo and Piphin's teal blood. As they pulled away, a cobalt mixture of blue blood trickled down Piphin's chin. Krocka, on the other hand, knew how to keep it in.

The rust-blooded troll, Finigi, was repulsed. His adoptive brother Kildan never explained the quadrants to him (Besides moirallegiance and auspisticism), so he was oblivious to the functions of a hatesnog and, by extension, the wonders of troll reproduction.

Kildan closed his eyes and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Can you not display your gross hate for each other in front of the young ones?" he growled.

Piphin wiped her mouth of the blood. "Oh, grow up, Kil. Fin's gonna have to learn about kismessitudes SOME day, and I'm almost positive that Tol has found out on his own."

"She's right, you know!" Tolken snickered. Finigi slugged his moirail's arm playfully.

Krocka rolled his eyes. "We're getting sidetracked here. We came here to FLARP with you guys. Are any of you experienced FLARPers?"

"Finigi and I FLARP all the time, Tolken's done it once or twice, and Piphin thinks it's retarded, so this is her first time," Kildan explained.

The last statement was obvious, as the gear Piphin arrived in appeared to be low-level, hastily made armor with a subtle bug theme. Sticky webs and leaf green metal. How juvenile.

The Danski's, Finigi and Kildan, gear, on the other hand, appeared to have been gained through multiple campaigns of ferocious FLARPing and sweet spoils from various loot caches surely spread across the Wasteland. Finigi's was bird-themed, with feathers accenting his shiny chrome armor, while Kildan's was bat-themed, highlighting his dark and edgy personality.

Tolken wore the fly as fuck garbs of the Cavalreapers, an ancient group of lowbloods that stood up to the Empress and her condescending ways. Even though he didn't agree with them and they were wiped out long ago, he thought their outfits looked cool. He put his own spin on the originals, however, coating the rusted metal with gold leaf and replacing the torn, rotten cloth with a silky purple material he swindled from some poor yellow blood lost in the desert. Krocka wore a heavily armored suit handed down from his warlord of an ancestor, who surely slayed vast amounts of lowblood scum in his Threshecutioner Flaysquad. Of course, he added his own touches, replacing the original indigo details with fresh, crimson paint reminiscent of the candy red blood flowing through mutant veins.

Vashti wore a black jumpsuit, a replica the Succubus' original garb, reinforced by rattlebeast bones in various places. It looked more like a fashion piece rather than a suit of armor, but it did it's purpose well.

Weapon-wise, Krocka carried the Magnum Opus, a tri-barreled machine gun, Vashti carried the Venom Lash, a long, poisoned whip, Finigi carried the Pow Wow, a bright red bat made of steel, Kildan wore the Rusty Bruisers, spiked rings worn by years of intense use, Piphin wore the Stingers, a pair of modified boxing gloves with buzzbeast needles, and Tolken carried his Cursed Tarot Deck, a mysterious deck of ancient tarot cards only he knew the secrets to.

Before they entered the fields and deployed their Flapstractions, Krocka decided on the teams. "I'll be with Vashti, of course, and I guess I'll take Tol-" he started, but was cut off by Kildan.

"No! I'm sure you and your friend here have some sort of plan cooked up. She's on my team," the cerulean-blooded troll huffed.

"Fine," Krocka chuckled, rolling his eyes and nudging his moirail towards Kildan's group. "Then I get your little buddy. And Piphin, too."

Kildan frowned, narrowing his eyebrows. "...Deal," he said quickly, as Finigi and Piphin scooted past him.

Finigi glanced at the older Danski as he passed by, a sign of confusion and worry on his face. Kildan simply shook his head, a sign of reassurance. Finigi began to think. They were expert FLARPers. Sure, they weren't the ONLY expert FLARPers, but they sure as hell were among the biggest and baddest. They'd be fine.

The two team leaders of three stared each other on. "We will be Team Splinter," Krocka said. "I will be our Clouder," he said, revealing his grub's egg.

Kildan smirked, retrieving his as well. "And I will be Clouder for Team Brawl."

They nodded at each other before entering the fields, a sign of both respect and a brewing rivalry. As they prepared to embark on their journey, however, another group, comprised of four trolls, ran past.

Leading the charge was a female cerulean blood wearing the garb of the Gamblignants, jeering the three behind her. Two other females, a teal-bloodded Legislacerator and a maroon-blooded Cavalreaper, carried a rust-blood with broken legs dressed as... Pupa Pan? No one knew what to make of the situation, so they ignored it and pressed on.

As dusk descended upon Team Splinter, Krocka's egg began to hatch, releasing the crimson Gaming Flapstraction that was their grub. It quickly began growing a quickly releasing glowing indigo spores that rose into the night sky, blending in with the stars and blurring some of Alternia's 48 constellations. Finigi looked off into the distance and saw glowing cerulean spores rising into the sky, likely Team Brawl's Flapstraction.

These game grubs would be the driving force behind each team's game; the Clouders would carry them aboard whatever vehicle they chose, and they would shape the world of the enemy team, everything from monsters, treasure, and anything in between.

Finigi was nervous, despite Kildan's reassurance. They always played together, and they always played alone. There was never a third person to possibly screw things up. While he did trust Piphin like a moirail, he knew she was prone to sudden outbursts of anger, and these would only be multiplied by the presence of her kismesis.

Not only that, but Krocka was an indigo blood. Kildan doesn't trust anyone that high up on the hemospectrum, even though he himself is only a level below Krocka. Kildan says they're dangerous; he barely even trusts Tolken, a purple blood who was basically his best friend. And even then, Finigi's gear and skills were suited for flight and aerial-based combat, as were Piphin's. From what he had seen, Krocka seemed like the kind of person who would take his own teammates out of their comfort zone and area of expertise just to spite them.

...And he was PARTLY right. When the Flapstraction had done its job, Krocka deployed the vehicle. It was a strange thing; it at first appeared to be an Alternian Siege Tank, but on closer inspection, had several distinct modifications.

First and foremost was the absurdly large and obviously aftermarket double-barreled gun on the top of the machine. That thing must have some serious firepower, Finigi thought.

Secondly, it was hovering off the ground and had no visible treads or wheels of any sort. Just a giant jet spouting blue flames beneath the machine, as well as an assortment of similar, but smaller, jets on the rear.

Third was the chrome, jet black paint job that must have taken several weeks, or maybe even months to get right.

After all this, Finigi realized they were gonna be flying; just not in a safe, comfortable blimp like always. He and Piphin stepped in after Krocka into the massive beast of a machine. It looked much larger on the, inside for some reason.

Soon, they were on their way as the world changed around them.

It was dusk when they started, but was currently mildly cloudly and in a hot rainforest. The sun beat down on them, but unlike the regular Alternian sun, was not life-threatening. It still wasn't comfortable, and Krocka's tank didn't have any sort of air conditioning, cushioned seats, or even room to lie down.

They had parked outside of a cave, with a rushing waterfall feeding into a nearby stream. Finigi plunged his hands into the cold water, running it through his hair and over his face. He saw movement in the bushes before him and grabbed the handle of his Pow Wow, but whatever it was quickly absconded. He still left the bat case on his back unlatched so that he would be able to retrieve it quickly.

Piphin's gloves were tied to her carbon fibre belt and hung at her side; she was trying something new. She had taped her hands up with military-grade adhesive (But still left her digits mobile) and stuck sharpened scrap metal she found in the tank between her fingers. She could now punch underlings in the face with ease, as the tape was heavily padded and the metal relatively sharp.

"Like my new gloves?" the girl asked Finigi enthusiastically. He nodded, a small grin growing. He was still nervous about Krocka, but he seemed focused on winning rather than making his teammates miserable. Besides, if Piphin seemed happy around her kismesis, then there was probably a good reason.

They stepped into the cave, weapons at the ready. Krocka took a small metal ball from his side pouch and twisted it, illuminating it. He rolled the sphere on the ground, bringing the walls to light. Several enemies were up ahead!

Finigi surprised the closest one, a scalebeast-like creature, by bringing the Pow Wow down on top of it's head, crushing it's skull and splattering gray brains all over the walls. The other creatures looked on in horror at their fallen brother.

Their sorrow quickly turned to rage, as they charged Team Splinter. Finigi quickly whipped around and whacked the head off of an approaching attacker, achieving a 2x HOMERUN COMBO in the process and jumping up a few levels. He is awarded several boondollars.

Piphin readies her Duct Blades and jabs an enemy in the face, and then throws it behind her at another. The sheer force of the impact kills them both instantly.

Krocka loads his Magnum Opus and aims at the rest, mowing down the crowd with the rotating barrels. Afterwards, the cave smells like iron, smoke, and sweat.

Each of them levels up and gains many boondollars. They press on uneventfully, eventually reaching the end of the cave and entering a clearing in the forest. As they continue, slaying a few enemies along the way, they find themselves no longer in a wet rainforest, but in a dry desert. This was not gonna be good for Krocka. He could handle a little rainforest heat as long as their was moisture, but a barren sea of nothing but hot sand and zero precipitation was a no-go. Krocka's natural habitat was ice and cold water.

Team Splinter retraced their steps through the cave, passing by the original mob of enemies they have slain. They quickly found the tank and piled in. Krocka flew the machine over the mountain and quickly spotted the desert.

Krocka pushed the handles forward and they blasted off, zooming over the sand and burning it to black, flaming glass as they passed by.

Team Brawl was currently engaged in a battle with a large creature protecting hordes of loot. Kildan had managed to climb onto it and was pounding different parts of it's body to a meaty pulp with his Rusty Bruisers.

Vashti whipped her Venom Lash at the bruises created by her Clouder, allowing her to easily pierce the skin and send lethal amounts of poison through the creature's veins. However, no matter what they did, nothing seemed to phase the beast.

However, once Tolken was finished meditating, a single card rose from the rotating, constantly shuffling Tarot Deck, engulfed in green flames. He opened his eyes and thrust his hand out; while his eyes were glowing green, his hand thrust the card forward. He chanted a phrase in an unknown tongue and the attack on the card commenced.

From the card, two lasers, one red and one blue, shot out instantly, vaporizing the creature from the legs up. Kildan got out of the way just in time.

Vashti was impressed. As Tolken composed himself by tucking away the cards and dusting himself off, she approached the purple-blood and grinned. She leaned next to him and twirled a lock of his curly hair in her fingers.

"You know, I've never seen something so powerful like that," she whispered into his ear, so close in fact that a small mark from her indigo lipstick was left behind.

The sudden and unexpected contact after such a riveting battle shocked Tolken, causing his face to flush purple instantly.

Vashti giggled, even though she knew it would happen. She picked up his limp arm and wrapped it around her waist so that his sweating, shaking hand was resting on her hip. "I might need a big, strong man like you to protect me while we're out here!"

Kildan rolled his eyes and groaned. "Vashti, knock it off. I know your type, I know what you're doing," he said, taking the deck of cards she had swindled from Tolken in his paralyzed state. He put them back in the purple-blood's pouch, pulling him away from Vashti's grip. He had already gathered all the loot from the creature and would distribute it amongst them in due time.

"Oh, come on, Kildan, let me have some fun!" she laughed, catching up to them. As she passed by to their vehicle, an a massive blimp, she reached behind her and gave Kildan's crotch a quick squeeze. This surprised Kildan to the point of a high-pitched yelp escaping his throat, which he quickly suppressed. He couldn't tell if she was doing that to spite him or flirt with him.

When they got in, they were shocked to find a creature chewing on their game grub! The orange creature writhed in a pool of cerulean blood, on the verge of death. The holographic display projected above it flickered out of existence, and the spores that were growing on the grub itself popped and oozed steadily out of pores on it's skin.

The grub died, quickly withering away. That couldn't be good. They killed the creature, and pulled a microchip from it.

At that exact moment, the world in which Team Splinter inhabited flickered away, replaced with the night sky. They were flying in a canyon, quickly approaching a wall! Krocka panicked and attempted to pull upwards, but the bottom of the tank clipped the rocks. They were jolted around, with their grub slamming against the wall and basically exploding. Indigo blood covered the walls, with the crimson body falling to the floor and withering away.

Krocka pulled a microchip out of the sticky blood on the wall. There was still hope. As expected, Team Brawl's vehicle materialized several meters away. They must have gotten pretty close to each other in real time.

Team Splinter stepped out of their vehicle and ran to Team Brawl's. They, too, were outside, examining the bloody microchip. When Krocka approached, Kildan was fuming.

"I knew this would happen! I shouldn't have trusted you with my brother," he shouted, pulling Finigi aside. "Hey, are you okay?"

Finigi was very confused. Their grub never died when they were playing but that's probably because they always protected it. He didn't even know this was possible.

Krocka snarled at the cerulean opposing him. "How dare you! For all I know, you did this on purpose!" he yelled, yanking the microchip from Kildan. "Besides, this is an easy fix!"

Krocka pressed the indigo microchip to the cerulean one, causing it to disappear and be replaced by a large navy blue grub in his hands. Spores shot out in quick succession, but instead of forming an environment, began to form a large creature right before their eyes. It had a long tail ending in a giant stinger, with a pair of feathery and leathery wings, three huge humps, four arms, as well as two heads with three eyes and a pair of antennae each. It roared, revealing long tusks in each mouth.

"What the fuck is that?" Tolken stammered.

"I... I don't know..." Piphin said in awe of the huge beast before them. It roared at them, and they all snapped back to their senses. They readied their weapons, and prepared to attack.

The beast screeched a blood-curdling, ear-piercing scream so loud it shattered the windows on the tank and blimp behind them; it proceeded to slam it's tail down on them as well, rendering them useless.

Krocka raised his gun, firing a barrage of bullets at the beast. It blocked some of the bullets with it's gray arm, but was still injured. Navy blue blood flowed from the wounds, sending it into a rage. It swiped a claw at him, causing him to tumble to the side.

The Danskis took this chance to jump onto the creature and run up it's arm, hitting it in the softest spots they could find. Once they reached the shoulder, Finigi reared his Pow Wow back and smacked the creature in the throat, causing it to double over and begin coughing.

Vashti cracked her whip, sending it for the beast's tongue. The venomous fang on the end pierced the soft, fleshy tongue, which instantly began to harden and darken as a sign of the poison taking effect. Soon, it would wither away and infect the rest of the body.

The beast reared it's ugly head, yanking Vashti off the ground. Luckily, Piphin had grabbed onto her just in time, jumping off at the peak of their ascent. She donned her Stinger gloves in place of the Duct Blades, diving down the beast's throat.

A couple seconds later, she punched her way out of it's stomach, which was already beginning to decay from the combination of Vashti's rattlebeast venom and Piphin's buzzbeast stingers.

She was covered from head to toe in the sticky, navy blue blood. She jumped out to plan her next move.

Meanwhile, Vashti was still falling. She held on to her whip for dear life, nearing the ground. Krocka ran up and grabbed onto her, as she was once again flung into the air.

Krocka used his sharp tusks to cut the whip from the handle, and as they rocketed towards the ground, Krocka's armor protected them. Vashti was put out of commission, however, due to the sheer surprise of the whole debacle. Krocka carried her to a safer place.

"I don't think I wanna be your moirail anymore..." Vashti moaned, grabbing hold of Krocka's face and pulling him in for a lovesnog.

On the battlefield, almost half of the beast's body had decayed completely. Finigi and Kildan were still wacking the shit out of it, tiring themselves out. Piphin emerged randomly at certain points on the beasts body, as she had decided upon more internal damage. Tolken was almost finished meditating, powering up what would surely be the perfect final attack. Everyone else was just buying time. The battlefield was littered with pools of navy blue blood.

He raised one hand, once again revealing a flaming green card. Thrusting his other hand forward, he unleashed the power of... A Perfectly Generic Object. The average-sized, normal-colored cube settled down in front of him. He fell on his rear-end, bewildered. All that build-up... for this? he thought.

The beast cocked it's head to the side, confused. The confusion turned to anger, and he quickly blasted everyone with a green laser from his mouth. They all died.

Krocka shot up, sweating from such a vivid nightmare. It was a horrid recreation of the first time he met his friends (Save for Piphin) and the moment his moirallegiance with Vashti became a matespritship.

Vashti, he thought. He realized she slept in the recuperacoon beside him, while he slept on a pile of their clothes. No wonder he was having nightmares; no sopor slime to calm his sleep.

In the corner of the room, he noticed two large buckets containing what can only be described as their indigo love juices. They must have pailed.

Krocka smirked. "Still got it," he grinned.


End file.
